Praetorian – Pylon Cult | Album Review

Acidic sludge metallers Praetorian bowl into 2025 with debut album Pylon Cult. A triumph in tongue in cheek humour mixed with the brutal reality of modern life in Britain.

The icey sub-zero depths of winter make the perfect backdrop for the first LP from Praetorian, from blistering slabs of disgusting sludge metal to the ethereal haunting atmospheres of black metal, Pylon Cult, strides from the forest, swinging its maul and sweeping enemies aside left and right.  Praetorian already have a few releases under their belt, but Pylon Cult, really solidifies what the band are about, crushingly heavy riffs sit juxtaposed against an atmospheric breakneck melody straight out of the corpse paint playbook. Of course, there’s also the dark tongue-in-cheek humour the band is known for writ large over the entire record.

The record opens with the devastatingly heavy “Fear and Loathing in Stevenage,” which starts like a rabid dog’s bullrush before descending into a darkness-riddled doom metal cacophony, as crushing as it is beautiful, especially when followed by the contemplative atmospheric stylings at the end of the track. As a lead single for the album Praetorian got this absolutely right, it strikes the balance between calm and maddening fury that the band strive to achieve.

After the opener they do not hold back, delivering blow after blow to the cranium. Despite its punishing pace and style, it does manage to worm its way into the grey matter, where the latent melodic elements reside for a good while after the music comes to a halt. Alongside the cerebral bore-like riffs, the vocal delivery is haunting, powerful and grating in equal parts bringing to mind the stylings of Iron Monkey, Mastodon as well as newer acts like 200 Stab Wounds.

“Gutwrenching,” also stands out for its driving double kick-infused bravado, taking influence from a variety of genres, in particular here there is a leaning towards death metal and hardcore. Once again the riffs are high energy, and well thought out showing maturity in songwriting, and a need to bludgeon the listener. This is not by accident, Praetorian have stated they wanted to represent the ponderous drudgery of modern-day Britain, representing the grim reality many people live with on a day-to-day basis, and they sure do achieve that.

Praetorian have done a fine job here with their debut full-length, and when this recording is coupled with their already storied live appearances they can probably be called a veritable sludge metal freight train. Always keep an eye out for any gigs they might have lined up, it’s going to be well worth the ticket price to get down just for the experience if not the top-quality musicianship that comes on top of it. Hopefully, this is the first of many to come for the quartet hailing from Hertfordshire, and if this record is anything to go by then they can only get better from here.